Atsuro Kihara (
otakuro) wrote in
destinystrings2013-05-08 11:21 pm
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Entry tags:
[Closed]
Who: Atsuro Kihara and Kazuya Minegishi
Where: Land of Awkwardness and Attempted Fratricide
When: Right after the Taurus event
Warnings: None
Summary: At least they had both tried to kill each other mutually so the guilt went both ways.
The morning after the 26th, Atsuro woke up to three separate, unhappy realizations.
First, some nefarious villain had stolen into his room and ripped his curtains; more important - perhaps most importantly - they had undone his careful arrangement of all of his games by alphabetical order and production company. Second, some other nefarious villain - perhaps the same one - had left a prop sword so that he almost impaled himself when he rolled out of bed.
Third, shame. Crippling debilitating shame.
He spends the first two hours cleaning his room (an hour and forty minutes of it checking and double-checking that all of his games, computer paraphernalia, and hacking tools were still present and accounted for), the next two hours deciding he needed another nap after all of that work, and then another two hours hoping lunch would magically appear on his desk so he wouldn't have to actually go outside for a week or so.
He weighs the pros and cons of starving as opposed to ever running into Kazuya again; starving almost seemed like the better option until he remembered that starving would mean he would never get to play Devil Kids: Spirit Hackers 4 which was supposed to come out in less than six months and promised over 600 different monsters to catch.
Hey Kazuya.
Can we meet up?
Where: Land of Awkwardness and Attempted Fratricide
When: Right after the Taurus event
Warnings: None
Summary: At least they had both tried to kill each other mutually so the guilt went both ways.
The morning after the 26th, Atsuro woke up to three separate, unhappy realizations.
First, some nefarious villain had stolen into his room and ripped his curtains; more important - perhaps most importantly - they had undone his careful arrangement of all of his games by alphabetical order and production company. Second, some other nefarious villain - perhaps the same one - had left a prop sword so that he almost impaled himself when he rolled out of bed.
Third, shame. Crippling debilitating shame.
He spends the first two hours cleaning his room (an hour and forty minutes of it checking and double-checking that all of his games, computer paraphernalia, and hacking tools were still present and accounted for), the next two hours deciding he needed another nap after all of that work, and then another two hours hoping lunch would magically appear on his desk so he wouldn't have to actually go outside for a week or so.
He weighs the pros and cons of starving as opposed to ever running into Kazuya again; starving almost seemed like the better option until he remembered that starving would mean he would never get to play Devil Kids: Spirit Hackers 4 which was supposed to come out in less than six months and promised over 600 different monsters to catch.
Hey Kazuya.
Can we meet up?
no subject
Demonic powers, and demons, probably didn't work like that, huh? They didn't stop existing just because he refused to acknowledge their existence, and, perhaps, probably festered into something worse as time went on. Atsuro was right, Kazuya was afraid, but this wasn't a test of courage where he just leapt into the fray fists swinging. He could do that without hesitating. This would be an internal battle against himself and that... was the one thing Kazuya could never do. See avoidance issues.
"That... sounds plausible, even if you said it in the nerdiest way possible," Kazuya's smile was crooked, and he picked a few flakes of dried blood off of his arm. "But, this 'final trial' stuff doesn't sound like it'll be overcome by me going 'okay I accept everything'. It's all subconscious as well, right?"
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He was talking way too much, but the more he talked, the more he felt as if he knew what he was talking about. Not that it necessarily meant that was true.
"...Maybe a first step would be to decide what you want from all this. ...What do you want?"
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"I want..." Kazuya murmured, his words slow. What did he want? To defeat God? No, that was Naoya's ambition. To save humanity? Kinda? Kazuya didn't really want to crucify himself for them, and to be honest, they just felt like a second priority. It was still a high priority, but his every waking moment and decisions weren't 'How would this affect humanity?'
They barely crossed his mind.
"I... don't know what I want," Kazuya finally said. "It just seemed like the safest, and most logical way to get out of the Lockdown. I just had to do all this beating God up crap afterwards." That he still needed to do.
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No Kazuya you were supposed to be the guy with the plan they had all been relying on what had happened to being the leader. Atsuro briefly wonders if maybe his 100% faith had perhaps been slightly pverexaggerated and if he ought to revise his estimates down to maybe 98% or so.
"Well. ...We can figure it out! It will be like... career counseling. In school. ...And you've got lots of time to think. The next event's not going to happen for another few months at least."
It felt nice having a potential solution for something for once, anyway.
"So. Where do you see yourself in 1000 years?"
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Well. Okay. The corner of his mouth was twitching upwards a little. Ninety eight per cent serious.
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Atsuro prods Kazuya in the face.
"I liked it better when you were upset about this."
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Atsuro gives a small shrug.
"It kinda freaks me out, too. But I guess... it helps me deal with things better if there's actually some kind of plan involved. Being able to take control, you know?"
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Kazuya sat there with a small frown for a long moment, twisting his fingers together on his lap. He had to get over this mental block of his then. That's all. Easy as pie, right? Hahah, right...
"Wouldn't this be easier if there was some kind of therapist that dealt with Demon Kings, oi..."
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Atsuro turns to Kazuya with a strange expression.
"We're all pretty new to this demon stuff, right, even if you do have ultimate power or something. What if we asked some kind of demon that had understanding of the heart? I mean, you were using Norn for gambling tips..."
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Kazuya's face scrunched up at the thought. He wasn't sure if a demon would be good - they had a very alien sense of morals, after all - but Kazuya couldn't unload this on a human therapist. They'd probably think he was batshit or a danger to society, or something like that.
"There're a lot of demons. There's probably one, I guess? But what and where is the question."
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Atsuro flushes for a moment as he pulls out his COMP.
"Would you think it was weird if it were a demon? Like, a demon-demon?"
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"Okay...may as well give it a shot," Kazuya said. "Nothing to lose if it doesn't work, right?"
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"If it doesn't work, I'll be your therapist. ...I charge exorbitant rates, though; five hours of gaming together per session."
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He was probably talking about Yuzu.
"...Anyway. ...I mean, you don't have to try it, but... Maybe it will help."
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Kazuya picked off more of the dried blood, his head ducked low as he lifted his shoulders up into a shrug. "Maybe," he said at last, "Can't hurt, anyway. I don't..." he paused, and his cheeks went a bit pink, "I don't wanna flip out again and hurt you, so..."
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"......So that means every time you get out of control, all we have to do stop you is throw me in your path, right?"
It worked pretty well last night.
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He falls silent again, allowing the awkwardness to thoroughly infuse every fiber of their being.
"...I don't want you to hurt me, either." Insightful. "But I trust you enough that I know you won't. Not... Not unless you're completely gone, altogether. And if that happens, then... I'll have to fight you, anyway. To bring you back. So..."
Wait that wasn't reassuring at all. "I'd rather be there than not if it happens."
no subject
"..." Kazuya sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He smiled wryly, "Like something out of an anime, huh? Where the hero gets possessed by his superpowered evil side, and his friend has to snap him out of it. Heh..."
Okay, maybe he could joke about it a little.
"I rather you didn't, though," he said, quickly sobering, "Not trying to be arrogant, but I think my strength far outstrips yours. If I go all out, you'd..."
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Atsuro's smile seems vaguely amused for some inappropriate reason.
"I would have died a long time ago without you, Kazuya. Maybe it's a fair trade. ...We all put our lives in your hands."
A short pause.
"Uh, I'm not suicidal or anything; I just mean... I'm not going to leave you. Not because of that."